To Be a Minister

I’ve been working on an essay for ordination over the past couple of weeks, and while I’m almost finished, I really feel I need to take a break from it. I’ve been spending a lot of time delving into my reasons for seeking ordination (which I believe is a very important part of the process) and revisiting my reasons for originally becoming a minister. Oh, yes, I am already a legal minister, but this is for the Interfaith Esoteric Fellowship Church.

I’ve always felt a drive to try and help people in any way I can. I’ve known so many people that were looking for some sort of spiritual guidance and were disappointed in what they found. Just because you stick “Reverend” in front of your name, that doesn’t mean you’re worth a flip as a minister. Or a Priestess. Or a Priest.

I’d like to think that my life experiences have been a boon to helping people. I fully realize there are some situations I can’t identify with and I would be a fool to try and help anyone if I don’t understand their circumstances. The nice lady that did my counseling training told me we were, in fact, very limited in providing any sort of mental health help. Oh, sure, as a minister for a church, I am allowed to counsel as much as I think I can handle, but ethically speaking I would be putting myself in a lot of hot water.

I keep thinking about a certain church counselor in our fair little town that managed to convince a teenage girl she had repressed memories of her father sexually abusing her as a young child. Her father was a high-up in the church organization. He was brought up on charges, stripped of his job AND his own ministerial credentials, kicked out of the church and ostracized by his friends. Guilty until proven innocent, right? Oh, wait…. Anyway, the man was found innocent, the counselor was brought up on charges, and the whole thing just kind of disappeared. I never did find out what happened in the end, but I do remember thinking what a tragedy to put a family through that sort of pain – and all because of a church counselor who did not have actual legal certification. But since she was covered by the church, it was ok.

And that, I believe, is a big danger when it comes to being a minister. Or a Priestess. Or a Priest. A candidate will trumpet loudly about helping those around them or offering spiritual guidance to those seeking it, but dig a little deeper and a lot of times you’ll find a massive ego looking for strokes. Why do I think that? Even for myself, I know it’s nice when people tell me how wonderful it is they can come to me for help or advice or for a handfasting – I have painfully little self-esteem (or self-compassion – seems to be the new buzzword) and I need nearly constant approval. And considering the number of Baptist ministers that have been in my family (and knowing their not-so-ministerial behaviors), I’ve gotten an up-close look at the God-like ego that can come with that little piece of paper.

The really sad part is, a person doesn’t even really need that little piece of paper to act as a minister. All you really need is compassion and enough concern to care about those around you.

Well, I suppose I should get back to work. I really don’t have that much left to write, and I know it would take me very little time to finish it. But I am struggling…..