Dancing the Divine

I love to dance. I’ve been dancing for as long as I’ve been able to walk. I’ve taken classes, worked with instructional videos, tried to copy what I see on TV and generally just made a fool of myself over the years. But I love it. It’s like a visual expression of what music feels like in my soul.

Besides dancing just because I love it, I also very much enjoy using it as an expression of joy in ritual or during a drumming at a Pagan festival. I was twelve the first time I discovered leaping around a bonfire to the drumbeat of several dozen slightly frenzied Pagans – it was amazing! I felt connected to the Gods through the movement of my body. It was a very primal feeling to be lit only by the fire, moving to the drums, surrounded by other dancers and people sitting in a circle around us, swaying to the beat. Pretty heady stuff for a twelve year old, but it certainly confirmed my love for dance, not to mention giving me an opportunity to connect with the Gods.

I’ve been attending festivals for years and years now, and at night you will always find me by the fire, weaving through the dancers. In recent years, as I’ve been studying tribal belly dance, I’ve seen a lot of opportunity to use what I’ve been learning as a way to deepen my connection, not only with the Gods and Goddesses but with the Divine Feminine. For me personally, it’s been a great help.

I’ve often had trouble with being a woman. Not that I don’t want to be a woman – I love who I am! I have trouble relating with the feminine in general. It’s like a part of me is afraid to embrace all the power that being a woman carries with it. Up until a couple of years ago, I always avoided attending any sort of Women’s Mysteries because I managed to convince myself it wasn’t necessary for me to connect with that part of my being. I thought it would be dividing the whole of who we are supposed to be. Boy, was I wrong! It really opened my eyes and helped me to realize it is possible to be feminine and very much a woman without being the evil bitch, the judgmental harpy, the feminazi or any of the other terrible stereotypes we’re constantly being told we are. And I tend to think a lot of my ability to open my mind up to understanding the feminine is due to learning belly dance. It’s given me a safe place to be myself, without fear of judgment or ridicule. I have friends in my troupe and yes, they are like sisters.

I’ve only begun to learn these things. I’ve got a long way to go, but one of the beautiful things about spirituality is there will always be something new to learn. It’s a lot like dance – there’s always something new, something to challenge me and stretch me beyond my limitations. And for me, the two will always be deeply connected.