Attraction and Relationships

This is something that's almost always in the back of my mind, and very often a big hang-up for me when it comes to dating and relationships.

I believe that any two (or more) consenting adults that want to be in a physical or emotional relationship are more than welcome to do so. I have no problems with that whatsoever. I firmly believe that seeking whatever it is that makes you happy is one of our main purposes in life. Yes, I know that's a rather hedonistic philosophy of life, but that's who I am. Once I realized all my self-imposed "rules" were what made me so miserable, I was able to let it all go and seek what truly spoke to my heart. And you might be surprised to know some of my self-imposed rules....

For the longest time, I tried to convince myself that I had to be bi. "All acts of love and pleasure," right? Seemed like every woman I knew was bisexual, and gosh, what was wrong with me if I didn't want to sleep both men and women? Well, there's nothing wrong with me - I'm just straight, that's all. But you would surprised at how many people have been critical of me for that. Just as conservative types tend to look down upon anyone with bisexual tendencies, I was being looked down upon because I didn't!

Something else I have been chastised for - wanting a monogamous relationship. Yeah, seriously. I have actually had people tell me I wasn't spiritually developed because I didn't have an open relationship. What the hell? I thought the whole point of being a consenting adult was being able to live the lifestyle that makes you happy - being pressured into trying open relationships is just as bad as looking down one's nose at those who DO have open relationships. And being the suspicious type that I am, I did often wonder about those who insisted I NEEDED to throw monogamy to the side. I'm thinking there might have been an ulterior motive.....

I've never been really good about dating men my own age. I don't look or behave like other people I know that are my age, and I actually have very few friends even close to my age. Even in high school, I dated guys that were younger. Is it just because I'm immature? Oh, probably -- but again, that's just who I am. However -- and I cannot stress this enough! -- very rarely have I actually pursued a younger man. Usually it's the other way around! I don't know how many times I've told a guy "no" because I felt he was too young for me. But with time, I've started considering that, as long as he's an adult, then why the hell not? PS, that does not make me a "cougar"....I'm not actively pursuing these guys. Besides which, I detest that term.

So I'm not really sure why I've felt compelled to share all of this. Just one of those things, I guess.