Faith No More (with apologies to Billy Gould)

Faith. Destiny. A Higher Power. So many people build their entire lives on what they believe is a pre-ordained destiny, searching for their life's purpose, expecting to find some sort of Great Truth given to them by a Higher Power. They put all their faith into this, dedicating their lives to doing good or denying themselves certain pleasures because they believe this will bring them closer to whatever great purpose they are supposed to reach. Prayers are offered, sacrifices are made, every little happenstance is seen as a sign that they are on the right path.

Some lose faith, some don't. Some continue on, blindly following what they believe is the “only true way.” But I've always been fascinated with those that stop following that path – what happens? Where do they lose that faith and how do they live their lives afterwards?

How do you find purpose after you lose faith?

For every person that puts their lives on a path based solely on faith and destiny, there is another who has lived a life without bowing to the pressures of sacrifice or prayer. They don't attend a church or believe in any sort of horrible afterlife for those that don't.

(By the same token, these people also manage to live within the confines of law and morality without religion and spirituality, but that's a blog for another time!)

I know there are goals that folks work towards – health issues, acceptance of any number of things that are considered marginal, even physical achievements. But after a lifetime of working towards something esoteric, how difficult is it to redefine your vision?

So, yeah – seems like everything I've done in my life for the last twenty-five years has been with a view towards spirituality. After all these years, a lot has changed for me. I'm not looking towards faith or any sort of destiny anymore. All the plans I had when I was younger are gone, and the big push to be a great High Priestess is no more. I don't feel the need to sacrifice myself to give what I can to those around me.

Because you know what happens when you try to help others? Nothing.

As soon as folks are better, on their feet, happy, whatever, they forget you. There are people out there I would have cut off my arm for, gave them everything I possibly could and then some, helped them through some of the toughest times of their lives. I've learned that's the quickest way to end a friendship. So for all that I've always thought was the best way for me to be, I was obviously very wrong.

It's a strange feeling to be focusing on my own wants and needs. Is it selfish? Should I care? It's not like I'm robbing banks or kicking puppies. But I am having trouble finding purpose and identifying what makes me happy now. I need new goals. I have some in mind, but they would require a few changes I'm not quite ready to make just yet.

I know I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who do not create their goals based on any sort of divinity or spirituality. I'm curious to know how you come to your goals and dreams. Coming out of a lifetime of believing in a destiny is a little disorienting! 

PS. - Billy Gould is the bass player and a founding member of the band Faith No More.  Just so you know.

Happy Whatever-you-celebrate

Holidays.  Yippee.

Oh, and the end of the world.  Forgot about that.  Sigh.

Ok, so when everyone wakes up Saturday morning and everything is still there and we go on about our business as usual, I’ll be sad.  Because it will be business as usual.  There will be no great revelations by the masses.  There will be no savior to suddenly appear and help us all get our shit together.  It’ll just be us, like it was yesterday and the day before, looking at each other, waiting for someone else to do something to make the world a better place.

I was fortunate enough to have an acquaintance a few years ago whose fascination with the Mayan theory of the end of the world led him to do a massive amount of research into it.  Apparently the Mayans were able to chart dates back for thousands of years with complete accuracy, noted celestial happenings that the rest of the world didn’t even notice, and managed to predict solar and lunar eclipses far into what was their future.  So the calendar ending is something a lot of folks looked at as a prediction of the end of time and, logically following that through, the end of the world. Well, not so much.

It is the end of A time, not all time.  Mayans measured time in various units, some that encompassed thousands of years.  It just so happens that we are at the end of a cycle of time called a baktun or a long count (7,886 years).  And you know what happens when one ends?  Another one begins.

Ok, so there may be some celestial things going on, too – I’m not real up-to-date on all of that.  But that doesn’t mean everything is going to come crashing down around us.  Hell, I’d be thrilled to see some real change in this world, but I’m not holding my breath.  The only thing I really can do is change myself.

So back to the holidays.  I like the time off.  I like getting to see my boys for more than ten minutes at a time.  I really dislike all the pressure to SPEND! SPEND! SPEND!  That’s just ridiculous.  Seriously, if all these “war on Christmas” people were really concerned with having their holiday taken away, shouldn’t they stop contributing to the commercialization of it?

Maybe that’s what will come to an end – the insane need to overspend and buy crap that will be broken or abandoned within the week.

I’m gonna go spend some time with my boys, before it all comes crashing down on us.