Being Human

I’m a news junkie. I check news websites several times a day and try to keep up with what’s going on in the world. A lot of times I’m left stunned, shaking my head, trying to understand why people behave like they do. I realize I’ll never understand it, but still, what makes people do the things they do sometimes? And why do so many refuse to acknowledge the humanity of others around them?

My biggest confusion comes from war and all it’s atrocities. I will never, ever, ever understand the reasoning behind creating demons and boogie men out of people different from ourselves. I will never understand how killing and maiming and raping is supposed to make the world a better place. I’ve often referred to war as “who has the biggest dick” syndrome, but I know it’s much more complicated than that – politics, religion, boundaries, resources – fighting and insisting that there is only ONE correct answer for whatever conflict has arisen. It solves nothing and creates pain and grief for thousands, often millions.

And it’s just stunning how cruel we can be to one another in wartime. Every day I read stories about the horrifying things that are done to men, women,…..children. I understand the human mind is capable of doing amazing feats by shutting down certain emotional centers such as fear or sadness, but to be completely devoid of all concern or care for another human being….quite frankly, that just scares the crap out of me. It’s almost as if war turns soldiers in to psychopaths.

I understand soldiers are basically just “doing a job,” but someone sent them to do that job. Someone in a position of power sent these people to do these inhumane acts and destroy fellow humans in order to uphold a position deemed “correct.” The U.S. sends soldiers to the Middle East to stop terrorists from blowing up cafes and embassies because it’s deemed the correct thing to do. At the same time, terrorists are blowing up cafes and embassies because they believe that’s the right thing to do. (Please note – I am not condoning violence as an answer to ANYTHING.) In either case, someone is pulling the strings, making the decisions, pushing these people to go out and do these things in the name of something or someone placed on a pedestal.

I do know that soldiers are trained to take orders and not think for themselves. Pretty handy. Works well with the general masses, too. Teach them to believe one thing, hate everything else that’s different and only listen to what this one person over here has to say. So when someone new comes along and says, “hey, I’ve got this other thing I’d like to present,” they are guaranteed to get attacked.

I do wish more people could open their minds to the differences between us all. We can agree to disagree and still live side by side. Just because you don’t like cheddar cheese, and I think it’s the bomb, that doesn’t mean I get to kick your ass for it. If your car is better than mine, then it’s not ok for me to punch you out and take your car. We have got to do a better job of showing compassion for each other. How else are we gonna live here together?

Good Enough

Some people would love to be where I am right now. I’m well aware of that. There are a few folks out there that think I’ve really busted my ass to get where I am. Well, I haven’t really.

There are times when I feel I lead something of a charmed life. Very rarely do I need to exert myself for any purpose – so much in life just seems to come easy for me. I have a really decent job that I thoroughly enjoy, good friends, great kids, and I’m getting ready to move into an awesome little house that pretty much just fell into my lap. Things are pretty good – well, good enough. That should be enough, right?

My whole life I’ve managed to obtain a status of “good enough.” Not great, not excellent, not stellar, just good enough. Sure, I’m overweight, but I don’t think I look horrible and I’m pretty active, so that’s good enough. My car is old and has over 200,000 miles on it, but it runs fine and it’s good enough. I watch all these amazing videos of belly dancers who move with such beauty and grace and fluidity and I wish I could do that, but I have a good time with what I can do and that’s good enough. I’m at the bottom of the pile at my job, but they like me and I do get a decent paycheck, so that’s good enough.

You know what happens when you settle for “good enough?” Nothing. By that, I mean there’s no growth, no moving forward, no real opportunity to achieve a dream – in a word, stagnation. Guess what? That’s not good, certainly not good enough for me.

I have a real lack of discipline. You know those kids in high school who seemed to barely skate by with getting their homework in on time but always blew the grading curve at test time? That was me. I never really learned how to study or managed to figure out a way to just sit down and do my homework – a lot of it got done on the bus that morning – and I’m sure that contributed a lot to the problems I had once I got to college.

I have a really bad habit of not practicing when I should whenever I’m doing one of my hobbies. When I was in rock bands, I never practiced music at home. Strangely enough, I do dance at home, but dancing and playing bass are two very different arts.

I guess you could say I’m lazy. I like having a good time and doing whatever I want to do without being pressured. I take care of the stuff that needs to be taken care of, like paying bills and making sure there’s food in the house, but I’m really bad about waiting until the last minute to do things like vacuum or loading the dishwasher. There’s no real reason for it – I just don’t like to do it. Kinda dumb, right?

So I have learned that if I set my mind to something, I can do it. It’s time for another grand experiment! I’m going to work on creating discipline in my life. I’m going to work on managing my time better and actually making an effort to trim down, get stronger and be the dancer I really want to be. I’m going to work towards moving up in my job. I’m going to work more towards creating community within the Pagan culture.

Here we go….

Hey, What's New?

Sometimes life is a bumpy ride – it can get a little more exciting and fast-paced than what you might actually like, and when that happens I end up running like a mad thing trying to catch up.

So, yeah – hi! It’s been a fun couple of months. Got my youngest graduated from high school, and both boys are registered for college in the fall. Due to our educational needs, we are moving out of the small town and back to the big city. It’ll be good for all of us, and I’m very much looking forward to being closer to my friends and family.

We also experienced tragedy here in the Ozarks. I’m sure everyone heard about the tornado that went through Joplin, MO. Joplin is about an hour’s drive from us – it’s also where my parents were born and where they spent most of their childhood and teen years. I have family in the area, not to mention several friends in the Pagan community.

The toll has been devastating. For those that have been there to help with clean-up, it’s been emotionally draining. For those that are there, their lives have been shattered. But we’re a tough bunch of folks around here, and Joplin is rebuilding. Reports today are saying 60% of the debris has been removed so far and building permits are being issued like mad. A lot has been done, but there’s still a great deal left to do.

So this year, when Pagans in the Park gathers for our annual celebration, I’ll be collecting for Joplin. We usually have a food drive and donate that to Ozarks Food Harvest (or another worthy charity). This year, I’m going to take it to Joplin and make sure it gets in the right hands and helps the right people.

If you’re interested in donating or just attending PITP this year, it will be September 17th at Fassnight Park from noon to five. Joplin will be holding Pagan Pride Day the following weekend. I will be in attendance to both events.