A Call To Pagan Activists

Well. Apparently, there is a need for Pagan activists again.

I spent a good fifteen years working mostly with local people and organizations to educate about Paganism and Wicca, explaining who we are and what we do. My goal was to help develop tolerance and foster a “live and let live” attitude with folks who didn’t understand Pagans. Mostly, I wanted to make sure my boys could grow up in a friendlier atmosphere than I did. Once they hit high school, I felt they were going to be ok and would be able to graduate without the crap I went through growing up. Achievement!

There have been several stories lately that have made me stop and wonder where all my work went. Here is the story of a woman fired because of her religion, which, last I knew was illegal. Her supervisors even stated in the termination letter that part of the problem was because she is a Witch! And here is a story from Daily Kos about an evangelical movement to “drive out the demons” in communities so they can destroy Witchcraft and anything that isn’t their brand of Christianity. Hooray for tolerance…..

I had hoped at this point in my life to continue working towards spiritual growth and teaching with my friends. It would seem I will be teaching – maybe part of my spiritual growth is in helping others to understand us and possibly achieve an attitude of tolerance, so we don’t get fired for our beliefs or have our lives threatened.

Seriously, I thought we were past this.

...Run In Circles, Scream and Shout....

Ever have one of those days where you have a million things you want to say, and you just can’t seem to get it all into a single coherent thought process? Yeah, I’ve been having one of those weeks!

I’m getting ready for Beltane in about a month and a half. It’s been a while since I felt like I was up to the “big” celebration, and I’m glad to be able to bring the open celebration back to our area. For a long time, I felt like I couldn’t do anything on a spiritual level unless I had a Priest or some sort of male energy to help balance the work, but I’ve learned that I don’t need to have anyone else around in order to do the things I want to do. Sure, it would be nice to have a good Priest to help with rituals and teachings, but it’s not as necessary as I thought. So in all my flaky glory, I hope those of you that are planning to attend Beltane enjoy the little show I’m working on!

I’ve also been putting a lot of energy towards my belly dancing stuff lately. There’s a lot going on, and I’m totally loving all of it. Even with as much as I’m doing, I want to learn more, do more, dance more. I figure that’s got to be a good sign – otherwise I know I would be bored by now.

My study group, Oakshade Sanctuary, is doing very well. With every class, I see more cohesion and more growth. I hope that’s what everyone else is experiencing as well. That’s one thing that has always been very important to me – why bother sharing knowledge if it does no good? If folks were just showing up and not getting anything out of it, I wouldn’t keep doing this. But even as some people decide to move on, others come to learn, so I’ll keep going for as long as people want to keep attending. Next month will be two years that I’ve been running this study group. Maybe we should have a party….

The Interfaith Esoteric Fellowship Church is nearly done writing up articles for it’s bylaws. Pretty excited about that! There will be an interfaith service on April 9th at Middleworld Woods, so if you’re interested in attending, drop me a line and I’ll get you pointed in the right direction for that.

Hm…..is that everything?

It's Almost Here....

I am such a child of the warm summer months! Winter is nearly over, and I can feel myself becoming energized again to follow through on my projects. There are two of them that are near and dear to my heart.

The first “project” that I love is my belly dancing. It’s not so much a project as it is an obsession! I’ve always loved to dance, for as long as I can remember. Somewhere out there in the world is an old Super8 film from the late Sixties, maybe even 1970, of my little brother and myself dancing around the living room to music. Little brother’s legs were still pretty bowed (he was born somewhat bow-legged), so I would say I was around three or four at the time. So, yes, it’s been a life-long love affair, and I’m very glad to be dancing now with a wonderful bunch of ladies. I hope to dance until I just can’t move anymore.

The second project is, of course, my study group. We’ve been going strong for two years now, and I’m just so tickled! We’ve covered a lot of subjects, had some fantastic discussions, made great new friends and even weathered a few tough times together. As we’ve grown and learned, I feel it’s time to start working more towards personal spiritual growth. It’s fun to talk about Tarot cards and gemstones and test ourselves for psychic abilities, but I’m feeling a pull towards worship and communing with the Gods.

I have a course of study that I helped write several years ago. I’m going to take that material and use it as a base for a new course of study. I’ve learned a lot since I worked on the original course, and I want to share that in our studies. We have a wonderful opportunity to work together and become so much more than just a study group.

There is work to be done. If you feel so inspired, I hope you will join with us.

Confiding

I have had trouble my entire life learning to open up to people and talk when something is bothering me. I keep a journal instead. It’s something that started when I was about twelve or thirteen when I was given the very clear message that my thoughts and feelings did not matter and I needed to keep it all to myself.

I’ve had several people tell me I need to learn to open up, including several counselors over the course of the years, and I have worked at it, even succeeded to a point. Unfortunately, I chose to trust the wrong person and a lot of very personal issues were twisted and used against me and I have since closed off all access again. So I do this – I blog, opening up tiny little bits here and there, trying to find some sort of connection that will allow me to be a little bit vulnerable without opening myself up for an all-out body slam of pain.

Well, it was brought up to me again recently that I really need to find someone to confide in and trust. Pretty tall order! Thirty years of telling myself no one wants to hear my crap is pretty heavily ingrained. As I’ve tried to tell folks before, I can’t just start talking and expect to be able to open up like that. I know everyone has problems, and I know everyone should be able to talk with someone about them, and I’m great at listening to other people, but I am lousy at doing it myself. That’s just pretty much how it is for me.

As I get older, I’m starting to consider what unrealistic expectations I need to release. Would I like to find someone I can trust like that? Sure. Do I have friends now I could trust? I’m sure I do, but like I said, everyone has problems. Gods know mine aren’t nearly as bad as some people, so why should I go around bothering other people with my trivial garbage?

So I guess all this means is, if I don’t tell you what’s bothering me, it’s not that won’t….I just can’t.