Hug It Out

I’m one of those obnoxious, loud people that tend to be overbearing and probably something of an embarrassment if you’re with me in public.  It’s taken me a while, but I’ve made peace with that fact. 

Recently, I’ve been contemplating the need for human touch.  There are a gazillion studies out there that say we need human interaction, and touching and hugging are very important for maintaining mental health – they are supposed to help with depression.  I find that very curious, considering I’ve dealt with depression pretty much my whole life. 

Maybe that’s why I’m so obnoxious – my kids won’t hug me, which doesn’t make sense to me, because I hugged on them all the time when they were little – or maybe that’s why they won’t hug me!  There are a few folks that I see upon occasion who will give me a hug, and that’s awesome.  I always feel so much better after spending time with those people and I’m sure that’s part of the reason.  But there’s a lot of the other touchy-feely stuff that I miss, too.  Probably why I put up with some bad people in my life for as long as I did.

I’ve heard some people say they do just fine with their animals and don’t need human interaction.  Well….that’s great for you.  Not so much for me.  Chopper is a great dog and all, but it’s not quite the same….

Yeah, What He Said

I love advice.  I love to hear what people think I need to hear and I love to read all the volumes upon volumes of self-help books that are guaranteed to work all these amazing miracles – for someone.  I’ve repeated all the mantras….”you must love yourself before you can love another”….”cease all expectations and gain everything”….you create your own reality.”

Ok, there are some of those that I believe whole-heartedly, like the one about creating our own reality.  I’ve come to learn that reality is subjective.  No, really!  If you think life sucks, guess what?  It’s gonna suck.  If you think the world is out to get you, you’re gonna actively work to find evidence to that end, and it will look very much as though the world is indeed out to get you.

But I digress…..

I talk a pretty good talk, I think.  Life is actually fairly decent these days.  It’s not perfect, but it’s not awful.  I am still single, and it’s something I’ve been reflecting on a lot these days, but it’s not just the “single” thing.

I don’t have any really close friends right now.  You know, someone you can share secrets with and talk about anything under the sun.  I have friends that I CAN share secrets with, but I see them so rarely anymore, through no fault of our own.  Work and relationships take folks far away sometimes.  The internet is grand and all, but there’s nothing like being able to sit down face to face with someone and share a laugh over something stupid.

I’ve mentioned before about having walls up to protect myself from the pain I’ve experienced in the recent past.  Damn those things.  They’ve managed to finagle themselves into such a position that I find it difficult to be close to anyone anymore.  That sucks.  Ok, yeah, so I had some bad crap happen and some people I trusted hurt me, but I can’t let that dictate my life.  It’s just one small part.

“Do not feed today the leftovers of yesterday. Today has teeth and is hungry. Feed today what you want it to be and let it become that.”

 

Shane Koyczan

 

What he said.