Good Enough

Some people would love to be where I am right now. I’m well aware of that. There are a few folks out there that think I’ve really busted my ass to get where I am. Well, I haven’t really.

There are times when I feel I lead something of a charmed life. Very rarely do I need to exert myself for any purpose – so much in life just seems to come easy for me. I have a really decent job that I thoroughly enjoy, good friends, great kids, and I’m getting ready to move into an awesome little house that pretty much just fell into my lap. Things are pretty good – well, good enough. That should be enough, right?

My whole life I’ve managed to obtain a status of “good enough.” Not great, not excellent, not stellar, just good enough. Sure, I’m overweight, but I don’t think I look horrible and I’m pretty active, so that’s good enough. My car is old and has over 200,000 miles on it, but it runs fine and it’s good enough. I watch all these amazing videos of belly dancers who move with such beauty and grace and fluidity and I wish I could do that, but I have a good time with what I can do and that’s good enough. I’m at the bottom of the pile at my job, but they like me and I do get a decent paycheck, so that’s good enough.

You know what happens when you settle for “good enough?” Nothing. By that, I mean there’s no growth, no moving forward, no real opportunity to achieve a dream – in a word, stagnation. Guess what? That’s not good, certainly not good enough for me.

I have a real lack of discipline. You know those kids in high school who seemed to barely skate by with getting their homework in on time but always blew the grading curve at test time? That was me. I never really learned how to study or managed to figure out a way to just sit down and do my homework – a lot of it got done on the bus that morning – and I’m sure that contributed a lot to the problems I had once I got to college.

I have a really bad habit of not practicing when I should whenever I’m doing one of my hobbies. When I was in rock bands, I never practiced music at home. Strangely enough, I do dance at home, but dancing and playing bass are two very different arts.

I guess you could say I’m lazy. I like having a good time and doing whatever I want to do without being pressured. I take care of the stuff that needs to be taken care of, like paying bills and making sure there’s food in the house, but I’m really bad about waiting until the last minute to do things like vacuum or loading the dishwasher. There’s no real reason for it – I just don’t like to do it. Kinda dumb, right?

So I have learned that if I set my mind to something, I can do it. It’s time for another grand experiment! I’m going to work on creating discipline in my life. I’m going to work on managing my time better and actually making an effort to trim down, get stronger and be the dancer I really want to be. I’m going to work towards moving up in my job. I’m going to work more towards creating community within the Pagan culture.

Here we go….